Lately my self-consciousness has resurfaced. I thought I had overcome it but now I realise that I have just worked out what armour to wear to hide it. I feel it mostly when wearing anything but jeans and a T-shirt out in public. The other day I wore a dress and there it was, that feeling of being vulnerable, exposed. It felt like everyone was looking at me, judging me, as if I was naked in a dress. It was so uncomfortable. In my mind, every little flaw I had was on show. It was like an outer body experience where I was standing slightly beside myself, overly aware of how my actions appeared, but at the same time not fully in control of them. Speech didn’t come freely, like there was a disconnection between my brain and voice. It was very weird and took away my ability to just relax and be myself.

We all have our shells to hide in where we feel safe and secure, and wear masks or armour when we go out in public. We are all vulnerable on the inside.

That girl that stands beside herself feeling vulnerable and fragile in a dress, she is the real me… x